


Visit.

by sonnet_18



Category: Togainu no Chi
Genre: Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 11:12:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12506056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnet_18/pseuds/sonnet_18
Summary: Motomi and Akira visited a church converted into a day care for children. The journalist didn't expect the visit to unearth past, buried memories.





	Visit.

 

“…and with a true love’s kiss, the princess woke up from her curse!”

 

A series of ewws and awws erupted from the group of children. They were all no older than 5 or 7. The boys made a show of puking while the girls ignored their childish acts to move closer to the storybook narrator. One tugged at his pants to urge him to continue.

 

“Now, now. Quiet please, I’m not done reading.”

 

Motomi chuckled as he held the big picture story book. Akira, who was leaning at the back, sighed as he waited for his partner to finish.

 

The weather has turned cold and the sun often hidden by grey clouds in the sky. The trees have barred with only few orange leaves clung to the branches. People began to wear thicker clothes for the changing season and many would wish to stay indoors.

 

Even after the end of the civil war, many children were left to their own device. With no surviving family or a home to return to. Due to this; a number of foster homes and independent organizations had been set up.

 

Motomi wanted to write an article about these volunteers and the daily lives of the children. Akira never saw his partner looked so much at ease in the presence of children.  

 

“Prince Charming slayed the dragon and rescued her from the tower! The two of them returned and the king granted the prince to have his daughter’s hand in marriage. They lived happily ever after. The end!”

 

“Yay!!”

 

“That story sucks!” Yawned one boy loudly. He was the only child not wearing a uniform like the rest. He only had his black shirt and pants that looked a bit small for his height.

 

Since the location they chose to cover today was a church (that got converted into a day care), the rest of the kids wore uniforms like a nun and priest in training.

 

“No, it’s not! It was romantic!” One girl with twin pigtails glared at him.

 

“I hate sissy stuffs like that, we should have listen to stories about Robin Hood!” The boy stuck out his tongue at her.

 

“Sensei read that yesterday! It’s our turn now, why are you so mean!?”

 

Motomi kneeled down and patted the two kids on the head, “Come now, no fighting.”

 

The girl was about to burst into tears, “He… he started it first…”

 

The boy harrumphed and looked away as he crossed his hands on his chest, “You cry at everything. This is why I don’t like brats like you.”

 

“You’re a kid too!”

 

Instead of panicking at the girl’s screeching, Akira observed Motomi kept a calm air. Someone in charge of the situation.

 

“That’s not a nice thing to say, Taki-kun. What should you say to her?”

 

“….”

 

“Taki-kun…”

 

He urged with a smile, never raising his voice. Perhaps the boy was used to adults who just yelled at him or being dealt with spanking for punishment that Motomi’s gentle but firm way of reasoning with him made the youth confused.

 

“Alright…. I’m... sorry. Happy now?”

 

Motomi laughed with a nod then ruffled his hair like a proud parent.

 

“Good boy, you’ll share your pudding with Layla-chan, right?”

 

Layla’s eyes sparkled, temporarily forgot why she was upset.

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course, Taki-kun always said he didn’t want his pudding so that Layla can have an extra.”

 

“I… I didn’t! I just hate sweet stuffs!”

 

The boy blushed hard at his secret plan being revealed to his crush!

 

An assistant wearing a similar apron that Motomi wore came forward with a clap of her hand. 

 

“Now, now. It’s time for lunch. Who wants to eat pudding and cakes today, raise your hand please!”

 

A series of ‘me’ chorused after her and she began to lead the way, followed by children lining up like a long tail at her back.

 

Motomi grinned seeing them leaving the room as he slowly stood up but one of his foot became numb and he winced.

 

“Oh boy, my leg fell asleep! Ow, ow, oww…”

 

He struggled to stand again until Akira rushed to his side and helped him.

 

“What the hell are you doing? Seriously.” His lover scolded him softly.

 

“Sorry and thanks. Didn’t expect the stool they gave me was that short for me to sit.”

 

Another person went up to the two. Akira unconsciously stood before Motomi as if shielding him.

 

She wore thick rimmed glasses and seemed to be in her 40s. Her hair tied back in a tight bun and an apron over her dark dress. Perhaps she was a nun because the dress resembled a nun’s habit.

 

“My, it’s been a while I haven’t seen someone so natural in handling problematic children like Taki.”

 

She spoke with a formal smile. Everything about her radiated a strict disciplinarian. Akira never liked her from the very beginning, the owner of this place.

 

 “Initially we were reluctant to accept him to this respected establishment handed down by my father. Taki’s mother worked at some bar, I don’t know where her husband went. If it weren’t for her monthly payment, I would have rejected her application long ago.”

 

Akira was about to say something about her snobbish tone but a firm hand on his back stopped him. Motomi smiled to the close minded and arrogant headmistress.  But it was his professional smile, unlike the genuine ones he showed to the children or Akira.

 

“We thank you for allowing us to have a visit of this prestigious church. As well as allowing my partner and I to interact with the children.”

 

The headmistress stared down at them with her nose up in the air.

 

“If I could be frank, I wanted to block you two from coming in this morning. You smelled of cigarettes, that would be a bad example to the children. And your assistant reminded me of those high school drop outs. Vandalizing public property and stealing for drugs.”

 

Again Akira felt like stepping forward to give her a piece of his mind but Motomi smiled like a saint to neutralize the tension in the air.

 

“We are forever grateful of your kindness to allow us into this holy place. I promise to pen only the best of praises in the newspaper article about your father’s legacy to this church. Everyone will know of your hard work and contribution to the society.”

 

The woman brightened up as she stepped closer, her entire demeanor changed when Motomi didn’t react to her insults but instead show nothing but admiration. Akira was once again impressed how his lover could sway even the most difficult of clients. Maybe his experiences as an information broker to pry for valuable data played a role.

 

“Yes, indeed, yes! I have my highest hope on you.”

 

She declared as if like a queen knighting her knight.

 

“As you can see all the children under our care are loved and raised to be functional adults for the society. Take as many pictures as you want to be included in the article. Would it be printed on the first page?”

 

She asked eagerly and the journalists forced a smile at her naiveté.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

\--------------

 

“Finally, we can get out of her office. I thought she’ll never let us go.”

 

Akira grumbled as they exited through the back door.

 

Motomi chuckled as he followed behind him.

 

“To think she insulted my cigarette. I paid a lot for these quality brand.”

 

Akira rolled his eyes then stopped in his tracks at the view before them.

 

Behind the church, the children were playing together at the spacious backyard. Despite the playground needed a lot of repairs and paint job, seemed like the kids didn’t mind playing with what’s available. Under the large tree, a group of girls gathered together and collected leaves. On the field, three boys were chasing after a ball. One shy girl never left her teacher’s side as she clung to her leg. The teacher kept watch over them by the fence.

 

“Meow~”

 

Something soft and warm brushed against Akira’s leg. Looking down, he saw a stray cat with grey fur purring against his feet.

 

Akira saw something glinted from the cat’s teeth.

 

“Oh no, it came back. One of the kids must have fed it. Shooh! Shooh! Please go away. Lulu-chan is allergic to cats.”

 

The teacher picked up the shy girl attached to her side and stepped away before the girl’s allergy erupted.

 

The cat leaped away when Motomi stepped close to Akira. “Oh, seems like lunch is over.” He claimed as he checked his watch, “I think it’s about time they’ll come in for their nap.”

 

True enough to what Motomi predicted, the teacher watching over them called everyone to come in.

 

The boys whined about wanting to play their ball game some more while the girls were more obedient as they carefully carried their collected leaves using their skirts as a make shift basket.

 

The two men moved aside for the children to enter the door they've just exited. When the girls came with their leaves, they were strangely secretive. Hiding the leaves from their teacher’s view. Motomi knelt down and asked in a friendly tone once they got near the door.

 

“Hey there Amy, what are you gonna do with those?”

 

Akira was impressed Motomi could remember all their names quickly when he himself couldn't tell the twins apart.

 

Amy turned to her big sister, Naylee. She had always been shy with tall strangers like Motomi.

 

“It’s a secret and we don’t want to tell you.”

 

Naylee stood before her sister protectively.

 

Motomi chuckled, guess it’s time for another tactic.

 

“Are you going to burn those and roast sweet potatoes?”

 

The girls shook their heads. Amy looked like she’s about to cry when he said burning them.

 

“Are you going to draw funny faces on the leaves?”

 

Again they shook their heads though Naylee looked interested at the mention of crayons.

 

“Is it… for a present?”

 

The sisters widened their eyes, in disbelief as if he read their mind!

 

“How do you know?! We didn’t tell anyone!”

 

They both turned to look at Akira who leaned against the nearby tree with suspicious blue eyes as if he’s the culprit. Motomi looked over his shoulder then laughed in amusement. He shook his head to reassure the cautious sisters.

 

“I just know.” He winked playfully, “He didn’t tell me anything, don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

 

Naylee glanced at Akira again, not convinced, “He looks scary. Why does he always look angry?”

 

“He’s not scary. He’s just hungry, right Akira? You didn’t drink your bottle of milk again this morning. You won’t grow taller if you don’t drink it.”

 

The assistant just looked away as he crossed his arms on his chest, “Yeah, fine.”

 

Turning back to the girls, Motomi refocused their attention to their original topic. “Who are you going to give the presents to?” He can’t imagine the headmistress then he looked over his other shoulder at the motherly teacher nearby, “Is it for Sister Hana?”

 

The girls nodded together then they stepped close to Motomi in whispered voices.

 

“We saw…” Amy began to explain in a small voice, when she saw Motomi nodded, she became more confident, “We saw mean Sister Lilith scolded Sister Hana and we wanted to make her smile again.”

 

Naylee looked around, as if scared that the headmistress Lilith would suddenly appear behind them.

 

“We wanted to give Sister Hana something pretty. She said her favorite color is red. We still don’t know what to make yet for her.”

 

Motomi scratched his chin, “Hmm… do you like drawing?”

 

Naylee nodded vigorously, “I love crayons!”

 

“I like crayons too! Then how about… a painting?”

 

Both girls lost their smile as they looked to each other, “But we can’t draw her well… what if Sister Hana won’t like it?”

 

He patted the twin’s heads.

 

“It’ll be okay. Draw all three of you in the painting.”

 

Amy almost dropped her leaves.

 

“Draw the three of us?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure she’ll be very happy. You both love Sister Hana very much, right?”

 

The girls nodded again.

 

“I’ll help you with the painting later. I’m pretty good with my pencil.”

 

Motomi promised though Akira held himself from disagreeing that Motomi’s sketches weren’t on a professional level. Although he himself liked to flip through Motomi’s sketch book every week. Secretly admiring his lover’s unpolished talent.

 

“Really? You promise?” Amy asked as she gripped Motomi’s shirt with her cold, little hands.

 

“I promise.”

 

Then Motomi held out both of his pinkies.

 

“Shall we have a pinky swear?”

 

The girls grinned together and each held out their pinkies to his. Then both began to sing.

 

_“Yubikiri genman, uso tsuitara hari senbon nomasu!”_

 

Once the seal has packed, the girls waved good bye at Motomi and held hands as they enter the door.

 

Motomi grunted as he again had trouble standing up.

 

“You act as if you’ve worked here for a long time already. Knowing their schedules and close to the kids.”

 

Akira stepped in to help his lover up again.

 

“Well… it’s a bit nostalgic.” Motomi laughed with a wince at his bad knees. “This was how it was back at the research center.”

 

“ENED?”

 

“Yeah, the experiments involved kids but they don’t get strapped to the beds all the time. Slots of time were given for them to play, eat, nap and read books. Anything to make them less bored and stopped crying after being separated from their parents.”

 

“Ossan…”

 

“I knew I shouldn’t be bias when I watched over my kid then. But... I still spent as much time as I could together despite my mounting workload. For once during the long months away from home, I was able to do what I’ve always wanted as a father. Help him brushed his teeth, combed his hair, teach him how to tie up his shoes and how to behave with good manners.”

 

Motomi looked up to the sky, a habit Akira knew well whenever his partner was in deep thought. Or as if he’s seeking the divine’s help despite not being a believer anymore.

 

“It was funny how he was very obedient to his mother, yet when I took care of him, he was naughty. I guess I was very lenient to him as I can never scold him like how other parents disciplined their kids. He insisted I read his favourite book to him every night and the warden, bless that nice woman, often turned a blind eye for me to sneak in. He wanted me to cut apples in the shape of bunnies for his snacks and sulked if I broke my promise or late.”

 

“Bunny apples?” Akira blinked, trying to imagine how a small apple could be carved as a hopping animal.

 

“Oh? You haven’t seen one? I’ll serve you some when we return to our hotel late----“

 

Suddenly Sister Hana’s shouts interrupted Motomi.

 

“Taki-kun! What are you doing? You’ll fall down again!”

 

Motomi and Akira turned their heads to see up the hill near the swings, a boy attempted to climb up a tree!

 

Sister Hana panicked but she seemed to hesitate in chasing the boy as already in her arms was a sleeping child, Lulu. Anyone could tell she’s very stressed and exhausted handling several children on her own. No doubt that the headmistress just dumped all nanny work on her instead of actually fulfilling guardian duties.

 

“Why don’t you head inside, Sister? I’ll go and talk to him.” Motomi offered with an understanding smile.

 

The petite woman looked troubled, “Oh my, I shouldn’t cause our guest unnecessary problems.”

 

The journalist just waved his hand, “It’s fine, go on. Taki-kun will come in shortly. I’ll tuck him in later.”

 

The sister bowed her head to him gratefully. “Thank you very much! Thank you!”

 

****

 

A step, followed after another but he lost his footing and the boy fell on his butt.

 

“Ouch!”

 

Motomi laughed as he sat on the nearby swing.

 

“You’re still not giving up, kid?”

 

Akira expected Motomi to order the boy to listen and go straight to bed. But instead he simply relaxed and watched Taki struggling up the tree on his own.

 

“S-shut up! Just leave me alone!”

 

“It’ll be night time when you finally reach the top. Want me to teach you how to climb?”

 

“No! I can do this! Even if you call Sister Lilith, I’m not scared!”

 

Taki got up and once again tried to grasp onto the rough tree bark. But he winced when his frozen, sore fingers tingled in pain.

 

“Oww…”

 

Motomi didn’t reach out to him, he remained sitting on the swing. Akira was nearby but he could see the widow’s jaw tightened as if restraining himself from getting up to the boy’s aid.

 

“Why do you want to climb up that tree in the middle of this cold weather, anyway?”

 

Again Taki just ignored him and awkwardly climbed up a few inches. Seemed like he made progress from his experience as he managed to climbed father up the big tree.

 

Akira approached his lover with a concerned voice, “Can’t you just grab him? If he falls down, he might break a leg.”

 

Motomi shrugged, “Boys are pretty stubborn no matter how much the adults try to reason or scold them. As they say experience is the best teacher. Children like Taki are harder to talk to, I haven’t earned his trust yet. If I forced him, he’ll grow aggressive and hit me or you.”

 

Akira sighed, “We don’t have time to earn his respect, if he falls down, he’ll really injure himself.”

 

“I know.” Motomi grasped his hands together, “I’m trying to think on how to get him down safely too. But there’s something more than just willful rebellious side for his actions today.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He’s not trying to get on my nerves by climbing up that tree. Some children can be sulky or vengeful over what we said earlier. For example when I told him to apologize to Layla-chan. He’s climbing that tree as if he has a purpose in mind.”

 

“And what’s that?” Akira frowned.

 

“Meow~”

 

Both Akira and Motomi jumped in surprise at the faint mew.

 

Taki by now had climbed up a considerable amount of distance.  He shivered and reached out to a tree branch but it was too far for his short arm.

 

On the tree branch, there’s a cat.

 

The same grey cat that went up to Akira back at the exit door. Again he saw something glint from the cat’s mouth.

 

“Just… a bit more…”

 

Taki bit his lips to concentrate in reaching out to the feline.

 

“Oi, oi. That’s a stray, it might scratch you.”

 

Finally, Motomi stood on his feet. Concern and worry marred his usually calm expression.

 

“A bit…. More----“

 

Taki lost his footing and fell down!

 

Motomi started running but his bad knee crippled him to the spot, “Shit!!”

 

“Aaah!!” Taki screamed!

 

Motomi shouted a name, Akira was already running fast to catch the boy.

 

Thanks to Akira’s quick reflex, he caught the boy just in time before both of them fall to the ground!

 

“Akira! Taki!”

 

Akira groaned in pain but his arms remained locked around Taki’s head to spare from any concussion.

 

“Are you both alright?!” Motomi knelt before them, his fingers trembling and his face pale with fright!

 

“He’s…. he’s okay…” The assistant reported as he sat up, cradling Taki.

 

“I’m asking about both of you! Hold still!”

 

Motomi, in a rare sight of anger and panic, immediately began his medical inspection on the boys from head to toe for any injuries or broken bones! Other than a mild scrapped injury on Akira’s right elbow, they’re both fine.

 

Taki was speechless when Motomi fussed over him. Once Motomi confirmed they’re fine, he became visibly pissed, “You…”

 

Taki shrank in Akira’s arms.

 

Suddenly Motomi pulled the boy into his embrace!

 

“That was so stupid! What were you thinking?! Do you have any idea you could have break your neck!??”

 

Taki was speechless. He expected Motomi to hit him out of anger. He never expected a hug. A tight hug full of warmth from a traumatized father.

 

“I… I’m sorry… I just… I just…”

 

Belatedly the tears spilled down the youth’s cheeks. Obviously falling from such a height would have frightened even the strongest of kids!

 

Motomi patted the boy’s head, hugging him close. “Just… what?”

 

“I just… wanted to capture the kitty…”

 

“…Why? Plan on bringing it home and make it your pet?”

 

“N-no. Mom said we can’t have pets in our small apartment. But… that cat stole my treasure…. It’s important to me…”

 

Motomi blinked then turned to Akira.

 

Akira had his eyes on the cat above, “I think there’s something in its mouth. I’ll try to get it down.”

 

He stood up and then stopped. Akira himself wasn’t a pro in animals so he wasn’t sure how to lure the feline down. He checked his pocket if he had any food for bait.

 

“Woah!”

 

But to his surprise, once Akira moved closer, the cat leaped into his hands!

 

“Mew!!”

 

Once again Akira fell down on his butt, this time with a purring kitty that won’t stop rubbing its face against Akira’s cold cheeks. Something dropped onto Akira’s lap, the same that glinted from the tree.

 

Motomi laughed at his lover’s cute surprised look. “Oh yeah, you always have a cat or two following you whenever we traveled abroad.”

 

Cats reminded Akira of a certain pitiful man with purple eyes. Once again he wondered where he was in this world. Mentally shaking his head, Akira picked up the object from his lap.

 

“A watch?”

 

“Give that back!”

 

Taki pulled himself from Motomi’s arms and snatched the metallic wrist watch from Akira’s hand. It was old and broken, quite big to be worn by a boy.

 

Motomi recognized that watch.

 

“I’ve seen my old mercenary mates used to wear those. It’s water resistant with long lasting battery. How did you get it?”

 

Taki cradled the watch close to his chest.

 

“This was my dad’s…”

 

Akira saw the boy’s shoulders trembled a bit.

 

“Before he left, he gave me this. Saying I should stay and protect mom… but why is he taking so long? Mom has been crying every night since we got a letter last year…”

 

Motomi didn’t have to ask questions to figure out the fate of Taki’s father. The military had always been precise on the announcement of soldiers that fell in the line of duty. Or declared missing even after the civil war ended.

 

But Taki was too young to understand the reality. This was a personal matter that his own mother should tell the news, not strangers like Motomi or Akira.

 

Motomi held back from pulling the youth into another hug and just patted his head.

 

“Well, keep being strong for mommy, okay? You’re her protector.”

 

Taki nodded, “Yeah! Mom said I grew taller lately. I’ll grow stronger and taller to fight anyone who bullies her! Even Sister Lilit---- achooh!”

 

The boy’s determined declaration got interrupted by a sneeze.

 

Motomi grinned, “I’m sure she’s proud of you. But it won’t do if you catch a cold. Come on, let’s head back.”

 

He turned around and crouched before Taki.

 

Taki blushed, “W-what are you doing?”

 

Motomi looked over his shoulder, “What? I’m giving you a piggy back ride.”

 

The boy became stunned. Once the shock wears off, he grew conflicted. As if trying his best to hold back his excitement.

 

“I… I’m a big boy now! I don’t want any rides!”

 

“You sure?” Motomi made a show of looking around the deserted field. “I don’t see any Sister Hana or Layla around. All must be sleeping so we should enter quietly before anyone notice a certain someone is still outside, not napping when it’s napping time.”

 

It didn’t take long for Taki to give in to his temptation and awkwardly moved closer, “Okay… just so we won’t make much noise. I’m counting on you, you hear me? We have to be very quiet so that no one will see me being carried like a baby.”

 

“Yes, sir.”  Motomi replied in a mock salute, the corner of his lips twisted up in amusement.

 

Once again Akira was amazed how his partner always knew how a child’s mind works. But the moment Taki wrapped his baby arms around Motomi’s neck and carefully he stood up with the child on his back, Akira witnessed an expression he never saw from his lover before.

 

A face of someone holding back a heavy emotion that he’d buried deep within his soul.

 

“Ready?”, Motomi asked with a rough rasp of his voice. His hands interlocked to support Taki’s weight behind him.

 

When no reply came, the widow looked over his shoulder. He saw the kid’s eyes grew big. Looking around the view at this height.

 

“So high… Just like dad….” Taki whispered in awe.

 

Motomi blinked and asked again, “Taki-kun?”

 

Taki snapped out of his reverie and quickly nodded, “Y-yeah, I’m ready.”

 

“Okie dokie, now hold on tight.”

 

Once Motomi started walking down the hill, Taki wrapped his arms tighter around the adult’s neck. His eyelids grew heavy as he tried his best to stay awake.  Akira followed after them with the cat perched around his shoulder. It felt like wearing a fur muffler.

 

As he trudged down alongside Motomi, he saw the two have expressions he never saw before.

 

Both were smiling but… their smiles were sad.

 

As if relying on each other to relieve the past.

 

*******

 

After sending Taki back, Sister Hana insisted they stayed for dinner as some of the kids’ parents could only pick them up around 8-9pm. They did, much to their relief on what to eat with the little cash they had and Motomi fulfilled his promise of helping the twin girls to finish their art present. Akira helped took several pictures of a teary Sister Hana with the girls for their memento.

 

After 8:30pm, most of the kids had already left the church with their parents. All except Taki. Motomi insisted to stay with Taki until his mom finished work to pick him up. The two became close as they talked about airplanes that Sister Hana whispered to Akira that she never saw Taki opened up to any adults before. She’s glad Motomi was able to make the boy smile again as the boy hugged his precious watch close.

 

Around 10pm, finally the lovers head back to their hotel by foot. Now that they’re alone, Akira saw Motomi no longer put on his cheery and smiley mask. He looked haggard and extremely sad.

 

Out of habit, Motomi pulled Akira close as he wrapped his arm around the younger man’s hips.

 

“What’s wrong? You’ve been quiet throughout our walk. Are you tired?”

 

“I’m fine, you’re the one who…”

 

Akira stopped himself, he wondered if what he’d say next may seem offensive to the older man. Motomi looked like he would break down any minute.

 

“Hmm? You were saying?”

 

Akira shook his head then spoke again, “You’re the one who should be exhausted. I didn’t do anything much back at the church to be your assistant this time.”

 

“What nonsense, if it weren’t for you, Taki would have really hurt himself bad from the fall. Where did the kitty go?”

 

“It ran away when it saw a black cat nearby.”

 

“I see…”

 

They reached their hotel room but instead of getting ready for bed, Motomi walked around the coffee table with a troubled look. As if his body was physically there but his mind as far as the ocean.

 

Akira approached him as he himself had something on his mind that he finally couldn’t contain anymore. He reached out to tug Motomi’s coat.

 

“A-Akira?”

 

“Ossan… That time when Taki fell down the tree… you were shouting his name.”

 

Motomi looked stumped, “That’s a funny thing to say. Of course I’d shout his name in that situation.”

 

Akira stopped walking then faced him with a serious expression, “Yeah, but… you didn’t shout Taki’s name. You shouted another boy’s name…”

 

As if to emphasize, Akira repeated the name that he heard that time.

 

Motomi became pale when he heard Akira’s words. Then he laughed although it sounded forced.

 

“That’s… my son’s name. Oh… I didn’t realize I called out his name until you pointed it out to me… haha… I… I don’t know why, when I saw… Taki…. lost his balance and dropped… I saw my kid… I… saw him… blood… so much blood… I held him in my arms… he was still… warm…”

 

The older man wobbled back and forth, as if everything painful hit him all at once!

 

“Ossan!”

 

Akira immediately reached out to him and helped Motomi to sit down on the nearest couch.

 

“Thanks… I'm okay....”, Motomi forced a smile as he reached for his cigarette and lighter. But his hands shivered like crazy, unable to light the lighter that added more to his frustration, “Damn it…”

 

Akira swiped the lighter from Motomi’s trembling hand and light it up for him.

 

“Thanks again…” Motomi took a long drag and then sighed heavily. “I feel pathetic you’re seeing me like this. It happened years ago but the body sometimes remembers…”

 

Akira stayed beside Motomi, silently listening and unsure what else he could do to ease his lover’s pain.

 

“Usually it’ll take me 3 cigarettes to calm down.” Motomi looked down at his scarred hands, they’ve stopped shivering, “Thanks, Akira. I'm fine now.”

 

Akira blinked, “I didn’t really do anything.”

 

Motomi grinned, slowly becoming more in control now that the triggered reaction has passed.

 

“Sure you did. Having you here by my side really helped out.” He reached out to grasp his assistant’s hand, “Thank you.”

 

Motomi was so serious and earnest that Akira wasn’t sure how to reply. He just nodded and let Motomi held his hand. They sat there in silence, Akira was unable to leave the couch as Motomi still chained him by the hand. Akira didn’t mind but the awkward silence made him worry too if Motomi was still feeling restless and sad.

 

“Should we scrap the article about the day care from our project list?”

 

Akira asked, trying to think of a topic to converse.

 

Motomi’s thumb caressed Akira’s skin in repetition. It tickled a bit and his palm was so warm.

 

“Nah, I’m a professional. I’ll write the article later and you’ll help me proof read it, okay?”

 

Akira nodded.

 

“And this weekend… I want to go and visit him.”

 

“Him?”

 

“My son’s… resting place. It’s been years…. Taki made me remember how my kid loved piggy back rides and my attention to fuss over him. He knew how to brush his teeth and buttoned up his pajamas on his own but he pretended to forget or make mistakes so that I could spoil him.”

 

Motomi smiled but still it didn’t reach his eyes.

 

Akira looked troubled, “Alright, I’ll wait for your return.”

 

“What are you talking about? I want you to come and visit him too.”

 

Akira became speechless, it felt like trespassing a holy site meant for only family members. Not outsiders like him.

 

“Is that… really okay?”

 

“Of course! Besides…” Motomi crushed his short cigarette on to the ashtray and turned to his lover, “I want to properly introduce you to them. To my late son and wife. You’re my partner now, you deserve to be known. I don’t want you to think you’re my dirty secret or anything.”

 

It’s strange that Motomi talked as if his family were still alive.

 

A strange feeling enveloped Akira, it felt like it clogged up his neck. Making his eyes stung and hard to breathe.

 

“Akira? What’s wrong?”

 

Akira looked away, “It’s nothing.”

 

Thankfully Motomi didn’t push and just pulled his lover into a tight hug.

 

“You know, I’m a coward. After their funeral services, I couldn’t face their tombstones at all. Since then I vowed to search for Premier and end the stupid military research for the perfect soldier. I didn’t plan for revenge, I thought once I take down Premier, I could finally face them…. “

 

Motomi breathed heavily, one of his hand reached up to caress Akira’s soft silver hair.

 

“But now I understand there’s more to my life. I don’t have to cling to that hatred anymore now that I have you for my future.”

 

Akira held back from pushing Motomi away. This bastard could say such embarrassing mushy words and mean it from the bottom of his heart.

 

“That’s why… Akira…” Motomi cupped his lover’s face in his hands, “Will you come with me to the cemetery visit? Because I really want you to be there with me…”

 

Akira buried his face against Motomi’s chest, unable to form the words, he just nodded.

 

“Thank you, I love you…”

 

Motomi’s soft whispers made Akira wrapped his arms around the older man’s back tighter.

 

The younger man nodded again, as if to say, _‘me too.’_

 

They didn’t expect today’s day care visit would be an emotionally heavy trip. In the future they might come across cases and places that would trigger past pains and memories. But one thing Akira could be certain was that they have each other for support. Motomi was no longer alone now to bear his guilt and regrets. He had someone very dear to share his joys and sorrows. And Akira hoped they’d be together like this, facing future challenges head on ‘til they reach their graves.

 

\----

 

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End?

**Author's Note:**

> Early this morning I was like I want to see Motomi surrounded by kids. He seems to the be the type that loves children and children love him. It was hard to write the scenes where he interacted with kids since I myself not into children. I hope the kids' dialogues didn't sound fake or illogical ahaha. 
> 
> And I've always wanted to write a hurt/comfort fic where MotoAki visit his family's resting place and Motomi told Akira his short days he spent with his son in the research center. So all those got tossed into this oneshot as well. 
> 
> I'm aware some scenes seemed jumpy or awkward, I'll fix them tonight when I have more time. I'm glad I managed to finish this before my motivation and energy ran out ahaha. Thank you to whoever managed to read the story til the end! Thank you!


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